Privacy Policy

Or: How we barely use your data and feel weird about it

Hello! Welcome to Sailors & Mermaids. This is a privacy policy. You know, one of those things no one reads until something goes terribly wrong.

Now, we’re legally required to have this here, but as the only person working here let me assure you, I have neither the technical skills nor the moral fortitude to misuse your data. So let’s get into what little we collect, why, and how we definitely won’t be doing anything nefarious with it.

Hello! Welcome to Sailors & Mermaids. This is a privacy policy. You know, one of those things no one reads until something goes terribly wrong.

What Data We Collect (And Why It’s Barely Anything)

You might be wondering, “Hey, what kind of creepy information are you gathering on me?” And to that, I say:

If you fill out my contact form, I will, in fact, know your name and email. That’s it. I promise I won’t sell it. I barely know how to sell myself.
If you just visit the site, I get anonymous info like how many people visited. No names, no faces—just vague stats.
There may be cookies. These cookies do not even have the decency to be edible. They just help the website remember things like “this person closed the pop-up because they hate me.”

How We Store & Protect Your Data

Any info you provide (like your email) is stored in a very secure place. And by that, I mean a reputable hosting service with security protections. Not, like, in a shoebox under my bed.

I don’t keep your data forever. I’m not hoarding emails like some kind of digital dragon. If you contact me and never want to hear from me again? Just say the word – ironically by contacting me again.

Third-Party Shenanigans

I may use some third-party tools like Google Analytics. Which means Google might know you were here. Then again, Google knew you were coming here before I did.

Also, if I ever link to another website, please know that I have absolutely zero control over what they do.

Your Rights

While I’m not a lawyer this is what I know: If you’re in the EU, the GDPR gives you rights to:

Know: You can ask what data I have on you.
Delete: If you want me to erase your info, just tell me, and I’ll do it.
Complain: If you think I’ve mishandled your data, you can report me to actual authorities. Please don’t.

While I’m not a lawyer this is what I know: If you’re in the EU, the GDPR gives you rights to:

Know: You can ask what data I have on you.
Delete: If you want me to erase your info, just tell me, and I’ll do it.
Complain: If you think I’ve mishandled your data, you can report me to actual authorities. Please don’t.

Policy Updates

If I ever change my mind on world domination, know this: This policy might change in the future, but I’ll update this page if it does. I will not send an email about it because even I hate getting emails like that.

Last Updated:

January 30, 2025

Sailors & Mermaids. Oh, look, a Privacy Policy.